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Friday, March 31, 2006

FBI Agents Raid Google, Confiscate Gmail Accounts

As a response to the recent revelation that nearly 400 FBI agents in the New York City office do not have individual email accounts, a group of G-men swarmed unannounced into the Googleplex in Mountain View, California this morning. When they left, Google was missing 10,000 invitations to start a Gmail web-based email account.

“I’ve never seen FBI agents look so desperate in all my life,” said Google co-founder Sergey Brin who just happened to be dressed in drag for Google's annual "Queen for a Day" competition. “I mean, last month when they came in here looking for child porn links, at least they said ‘Please.’ This group was crazed.”

“One of them did that jump-and-roll thing into my cubicle,” said a Google employee who goes by the hacker handle Silicon Steroid “She shoved a revolver into my face and yelled, ‘Step away from the computer and nobody will get hurt.’ Then she proceeded to click over and over on the ‘Invite to Gmail’ link. She reminded me of a starving monkey in some grad student’s psychology experiment, pushing the button over and over again hoping for a reward morsel.”

An FBI representative in Washington was unavailable for comment, but the janitor said the spokesperson was trying to sort out why the WiFi was going down every time somebody in the office used a coreless phone.

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