Mail Room Clerk Discovery: Novell Executives Missing for Two Years

A curious mail room employee at Novell followed a hunch today and discovered that the entire senior management of the formerly large networking firm has been gone for approximate two years.

“For a long time the bin labeled ‘Executive Suite’ just kept getting fuller and fuller,” said a bewildered Bradley Petit-Cerveau. “Finally I decided to leave my post at the sorting table and find out why mail for our company’s executives was piling up.”

What Petit-Cerveau discovered was floor after floor of abandonded offices at Novell’s Waltham, Massachusetts headquarters. “They all just left? How weird is that?”

Petit-Cerveau, now acting CEO, is now pouring through company records to find members of the board of directors who might still be interested in the company.