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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Proctor & Gamble, Colgate Gang Up to Sue Web 2.0 Cabal

The world’s two leading manufacturers of cleaning products today announced plans to sue every programmer who has ever dreamed of Web 2.0 riches, for appropriating and misusing the trademarked names Ajax and Comet.

“We looked the other way when somebody called a slick new programming paradigm SOAP,” said P. Freemore Daily, Second Assistant Deputy to Senior Council at Colgate-Palmolive. “‘Soap,’ after all, is a generic term. But when another so-called clever programmer decided to name a Web 2.0 hack after our Ajax, we took a dim view of this rather specious use of our trademarked term.”

“Now that yet another gunslinger has tried to make a name for himself by using the name of a cleaning product formerly owned by Proctor & Gamble to describe this nebulous Web 2.0 crap, we say enough is enough” said Pander Sidious, corporate council for Proctor & Gamble. “Courts exist so that big corporations like ours can sue the pants of these two-bit programmers who live on a steady diet of Cheese Whiz and donuts. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do."

Despite the announcement, no filing has yet been recorded with any court in the U.S; rumor has it that the P&G/Colgate dynamic duo may first merge so that their combined resources can be more efficiently thrown at any pending trademark defense. As Sidious noted, "It's going to take a while to hunt down and sue every single one of these Web 2.0 programmers. They are like cockroaches--shine a light on them and they scurry into the corners."

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