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Friday, March 09, 2007

Despondent PLM Leaves Note, Commits Suicide

Product Lifecycle Management, known to friends as PLM, was found dead today in her Second Life apartment. Cause of death has been ruled as suicide.

Detectives at the scene found a note which has been authenticated as having been written by Ms. PLM. “I cant go on this way,” the note begins:

“I cant go on this way. Every one I meet has such high expectations for me. I just wanted to be free to have relationships, to network, and bring everybody together in love and harmony. Not even Wikipedia understands me. Goodbye, cruel world.”

Friends say Ms. PLM has been despondent for months regarding the “crushing burden of being all things to all people,” as PDM told this reporter. “And its no wonder. All this talk of convergence, of being at once an information strategy, an enterprise strategy and a transformational business strategy. It was just too much for her to handle. Personally, I think this new German guy hitting on her was the last straw. He was really pushy, you know?”

“Have you ever been forced to be innovative? Its not that easy,” ERP told Iron Tulips upon hearing the news of PLMs suicide. “There were a few times I thought about checking out, too. But now Ive found my inner bliss by sitting on the sidelines and watching Oracle and SAP wrestle.”

Confidential police records obtained by Iron Tulips say that PLM took her life by grabbing two live PR data feeds, one from Dassault Systèmes, the other from open source developer ARAS. “The mismatched data flows fried her like a fish on Friday night,” wrote the investigator.

Funeral arrangement are pending, since no one is sure who to contact as the official next of kin.


Joel Orr said...

Though I fully understand her, I am deeply saddened by PLM's decision to take her own life. Predeceased by her worthy progenitor, CIM, PLM was in contrast modular, decentralized, up-to-date in the most important ways. Alas, she died childless. What is to become of manufacturing automation? And who does not mourn the passing of hope, even if in her lifetime she was ignored?

Anonymous said...

I sadly note that PLM was, from the very beginning, doomed. Her relationship with CAD was being compared to that her half-sister, PDM, had with CAD, and she came up short. Having 3 big brothers, PTC, UGS and DS, whoring her out didnt help the cause either. She was a lass waiting for a reason to live - which never was there !